Pillow Talk

‘Yes, babe.’

‘Get over here, Bill.  I need to talk.’

‘Be there in a minute, babe.’

‘I mean NOW.  Zip up your pants and park it.  I gotta talk to you NOW.’

…

‘What’s up, babe.’

‘As if you didn’t know.  The fucking videos are everywhere.’

‘Yeah, I know. And I’ve been calling in some of my chits on it.’

‘Well why the fuck is that crap still out there??!’

‘What are your people doing?’

‘My staff.  What a laugh.  That fucking Donna sits there staring at the wall like she’s waiting for some writing to appear on it and let her know what to do.  They’ve all been slow off the mark, to get those fucking videos CANNED.’

‘Well, there’s only so much that can be done about that.’

‘What the fuck is THAT supposed to mean.’

‘Meaning, there’s only so much that can be done about that sort of thing.’

‘The hell you say.  If the nigger can make plans to get the Internet under control, so can we.  When I get in there.’

‘Babe.’

‘ - What?’

‘I think we need to look at that.’

‘Now what is THAT supposed to mean.’    

‘Honey, you’ve gotta stop thinking about the money - ‘

‘WHAT??!!’

‘ - and start thinking more about your health.’

‘First of all, don’t call me ‘honey’.  I’m not one of your stupid bimbos.  Thank the good Lord.  As the hicks say.  And secondly, - what was - I’ve forgotten what I was going to say.  But that reminds me, about the ‘hicks’.  How mortifying it has been, to have to court the fucking hicks for their votes.  I’m going to win anyway; why do I have to go through these stupid motions.’

‘These ‘stupid motions’ are what get us elected, babe.’

‘Oh, puh-leez.  Don’t give me that ‘democracy’ crap.  We both know that that’s a lot of - wait.’

‘What.’

‘I was just going to say -  something.  Now, what the hell was……’

‘Babe.’

‘ - what?’

‘Are you okay?’

‘What the fuck do you mean, ‘am I okay’.  You know fucking damn well that I’M NOT FUCKING OKAY.  This is so maddening.  I could……no.  Stiff upper lip, and all that shit.’

‘Babe.’

‘What.  And don’t ‘babe’ me, either.  I’m not your fucking ‘babe’ either.’

‘Well, then, Mrs. Clinton, -  Hey! - not the lamp.  That was expensive.’

‘Expensive!  And you want us to just throw it all away?!  You stupid, stupid, asshole.’

‘That name-calling and a quarter won’t get you even a cup of coffee, babe - Hillary.’

‘That’s better.  That is better.  I am Hillary Cl- - Hillary Rodham Clinton.  And don’t you, or anyone else, forget it.  I am……’

‘…What were you going to….Honey…Hillary….Oh, shit.  

‘Guys?  Get the stretcher in here.  She’s gone again.’  

‘What??  What… ‘

‘Wait.  She’s back.  But keep it at the ready. 

‘Hillary, hold my fist.  Tight.  Like they taught us.’

‘I don’t want to hold your fucking fist.  I want this shit OVER AND DONE WITH.  This is so - ‘

‘Please, babe - Hillary.  Do what they taught us to do.’

‘Oh, crap.  Oh, all right.  But this is all so…No. Stiff upper lip.  See this through.  Once I get in there - once we get in there, and you give me backup, it’ll all be okay.  Won’t it, Bill.’

‘Hon- Hillary, I think we need to talk.  About all that.’

‘Now don’t YOU start bailing out on me, Bill.  I need you to be by my side.  After all we’ve been through, to get - here.’

‘And where is that, Hill.’

‘What.  Here?  How do you mean.’

‘I mean, that, ‘here’ is proving not to be a very viable place to be, Hill.  And I think we need to face that little fact.’

‘…Yes.  I’ve been beginning to think that, too.  The growing reality of ‘it’…

‘Bill.’

‘What, babe.’

‘Do you think…there is really……

‘No.  That crap is all just for the hicks.  Not for the likes of us.  The Rightful Ones. Not like the hicks.  

‘The hicks.  Like from hicksville, Arkansas…Those crappy, frustrating days.  On the edge of the real action.  Holy fucking Moses….We’ve come a long ways.  Haven’t we, Bill.’

‘Yes, babe.  We have.  Now, just a little tighter……

‘Hill……

‘Guys.  Bring it in.  I think we’ve lost her for good this time.’