'Mmmm. This
Is good. But
I get so tired
Of 'straining at stool'.
Don't you?
It makes me feel
Like such a fool.
I mean, really.
How - ignoble
Can you be.
Eat, and sleep, and shit
And that's it?'
'Well, there's always
Sex.'
'Ye-es. And that's
Good too, like
Good food. But
Don't you get tired
Of faking 'it'?
"Ooh, that feels
so good,
Baby. Sock it to me
One more time."
I mean, really.
Now, I know
There is religion.
But
Isn't that
Just superstition?
Walking on water,
And all that shit.
A story
For children
I say.
I mean, really.'
'I hear tell
About the likes of
Reincarnation.'
'Reincarnation!
That's good
For a laugh.
Would you like
to come back
As, say, a prostitute?
Don't answer that!
Or what about
A princess. Say,
I could
Fancy that.
Oimines
And poiles
And all. But
It all comes out
In the end,
Doesn't it.
I mean, like shit.
Hey, how about
a glass
of water
For a change.
And leave the walking on it
To others.'
'No thanks. I'll pass.
It probably
Has fluoride in it
Anyway.'.
'Fluoride! Isn't that
Supposed to be good
For you? Or at least
For your teeth??'
'So they say…'
'You're not one of those
Conspiracy theorists
Are you,
where
Everything that is going on
Is a con?'
'Actually, that's true.
Almost.
Did you know
For example, that - '
'Don't tell me!
I don't want to know.
I want to believe
In some things,
At least.
And have a feast
On nonsense
If I have to
To get through
the lonely
insufferable
nights.
Oh! How I long for
Release -
a flight
Into heaven
or hell
it doesn't
really matter;
a miracle
to get
Me out of here! -
but don't tell
My husband.
He'd have
a fit
And wouldn't be able
To cope alone.'
'Of course not. I mean…'
'That's what we get
for believing
that things
Will ever change
for the better
'Someday'. And so we
Muddle through
Somehow, in
The meanwhile,
The 'what is'.
"Light! More
Light!"
Isn't that
What Goethe said
On his deathbed?
At the end of his
Crack at it?'
'I didn't know
You knew things
Like what Goethe said
At the end
Of his life.'
'I haven't always just
Been 'a wife'.
"I coulda been
A contenduh."
As Brando said
In that movie.
Or at least
His character did.'
'Isn't that
All we are
Anyway?
Just characters
On a screen?
In a drama
Of our making?'
'If I had wanted to hear
Some deep philosophy
I could have stayed at home
And listened to myself
Thinking.
Listen, dear.
Eat your lunch.
It's paid for.
And that's all that life
Amounts to
Anyway '
'What
Is that.'
'A free lunch.
I jest
But barely…
What a bunch
Of fools we are
On a ship
That is slowly
Sinking.
A glass of wine
that turns
into water
before
Our very eyes…
at the end
Of a perfect day.
Or so they say.'
'So they say
I've heard too.
I'll drink to that.'
'I'll drink to that
too. And then another
After that.
Here's
to…
Whatever.'
'To piss
And vinegar.'
'"To piss
And vinegar.''
Cheers!'
…
'Dearie me. I think
We're drunk.'
'Drunk
As a skunk
At a wedding.
I think it goes.'
"I may be drunk, but
I'm not as drunk
As some thinkle peep
I am…"'
'You say that as though
You're quoting someone.'
'I am. It's from
My university days.
Long story, that.'
'Tell me more.'
'You sure
You want to hear this?
'Yes.'
'Okay. Once
Upon a time
There was a girl
Who was the valedictorian
Of her class………'
'And?'
'That's
It.
The end.'
'……I'll drink to that.'
'I'll drink to that
Too. Now
That
It's over.'
'…...It's not over
until……'
'Go on. Until
What. -
Oh!
I got it!
Yes!
Until…'
(together; holding up
their glasses
on high
in salute
To each other)
'The fat lady sings!'
And spreads her wings
For another crack
at 'it':
the point
Of it all.
to Jackie Collins. Cheers.)
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