Come To Order

‘Hi, kids.’

(Like response from the small crowd of kids sitting on the floor.)

‘Thank you for volunteering for this little reading exercise, and little quiz regarding what is read.  Do you know what a ‘quiz’ is?’

(Affirmative response.)

‘What is it.  Anybody.’

(Some hands up.  Indicating one:)

‘Yes?’

‘It’s where you ask us some questions, and we answer them.’

‘Very good.  You will obviously grow up to be a rocket scientist someday.’

(Dutiful chuckles.)

‘Okay.  So, I’m now going to ask for a volunteer to read a short sentence, and be asked to say what it means to him or her.  And to show those watching this video that I haven’t set this little exercise up ahead of time, to pick the very smartest of you lot for this little job, I’m going to take this coin here - ‘ (Takes out a 50-cent piece) ' - and flip it out amongst you, and the person who catches it ends up being ‘it’.  Catch!’

(Flips the coin into the small crowd of kids.  A child ends up with it.  Cheers around.)

‘Okay.  Please come up here, and give our watching audience your name.  (Child comes up.)  ‘Your name is…?’

‘My name is Julia.’

‘Okay, Julia.  Thanks for volunteering for this extremely important job.’  

(Chuckles around.  A nervous smile from Julia.)

‘You’re not getting nervous, are you?’

‘Well…a little.’

‘If I were you, I would be getting a lot nervous.’

(Dutiful chuckles from the kids.  Not so much from Julia, who looks to her 'gang' for moral support.)

‘I’m just kidding, Julia.  It’s very simple.  All I want you to do is read a sentence that I am about to give you, and then tell us what you think it means.  And you can have a little help from the other kids if you want.  Okay/‘

‘Okay.’

‘Okay.  Ready, everybody?’

(Affirmative response.)    

‘Okay, here it is.  (Pulls out a piece of paper, hands it to the child.)  Just read it out loud, for us and the watching audience to hear.’

(Reading:) ‘A natural born citizen is a person born in the country, of parents who are citizens.’  

‘Again, please, Julia.’

‘A natural born citizen is a person born in the country, of parents who are citizens.’   

‘Okay.  Good.  Thank you, Julia.  Now.  Just say a few words about what you think that means.’

‘…Well.  It means…just what it says.  I mean……’

‘Let me help you break it down into its parts.  ‘A natural born citizen is a person born in the country’.  Does that mean born in the country instead of a city?’

(Some chuckles.  Some hands up.  Julia rises to the occasion:)

‘No.  It means, born in the country that they are citizens of.  Like us, here.’

‘Very good.  Absolutely right, Julia.  And now for the second part: ‘of parents who are citizens.’  Citizens of what country?  Any country?’

‘No.  Of that country.  Of the country that the person we're talking about was born in.’

‘Very good.  Thank you, Julia.  You did absolutely brilliantly.  Keep the change.’

(Cheers from the other kids.  A shy smile from Julia, as she returns to the gang. The kids go off to waiting cookies and juice, some ogling the piece of money that they have never seen before.)

(Moderator, to the camera:)

‘And just so, my demonstration of how even a six-year-old can read plain English, with comprehension.

‘I rest my case.  Along with a huge file of historical evidence that the constitutional Framers were indeed going by this definition of a ‘natural born citizen’ when they put that term in their contract for the particular office of the presidency, signaling its special nature, requiring special eligibility-requirement attention.

‘I hesitated to ask my class of 6-year-olds if - after explaining to them what a ‘contract’ is, and what an ‘amendment’ to it is, and what an ’eligibility requirement’ is - changing the definition of a term after the fact would automatically change the eligibility requirement itself.

‘That might take an adult to figure out.’